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What Women Want

July 19, 2018 | News & Trends

I embarked on a deep scholarly quest to understand the unfathomable question even the gods have a problem answering and have left them sleepless and restless. “What Women Want” in a relationship.

To understand what is not understandable I asked the cause of our headache. I went up to the hills of the gods, there I met, Osun, Oya, Moremi of Ile-Ife,  Zainab of Zaria, Adadioha the wife of Amadioha and Bobrisky the Shim of Instagram. Prostrating flat in reverence I asked, “Ladies, what does it for you in a relationship?” The answers flowed in like the waterfalls of Niagara, pure undiluted and impressively the same.

They all unanimously stated, “I want love, care, companionship and friendship. That’s all? Nothing else? Are you sure? So here am I asking myself, if these few things are what women want in a relationship, why then do we have issues in relationships. Are men really scum like they say? Are men so un-understanding and insensitive that they cannot give these simple things?  More questions than answers right?

So like the voracious and insatiable amebo that I am, I pressed further like a man pressing bread and beans. I asked them, “what you think is the issue with your man, that you have problems with him? The first and most common answer was … he does not understand me… even Amadioha? Sango? Obatala? Ah who am I mere mortal to understand.  Then the mother goddesses gathered their wrappers and wove it into a cocoon for me to sleep in for wisdom sake.

You see what I  discovered is that  most women would love to marry/date a mind reading, mood changing, emotion altering, ego massaging and hormone detecting man. An average woman would stay moody and she would expect that her man uses his Harry Potter like mind to decipher why she’s angry.

You see, a woman is a living Memory card, she remembers all, everything that has to do with her emotions sticks like rat on rat glue. Imagine a woman that remembers the day you asked her out, the moment you first kissed her, she can even tell the shirt you wore on that very day, you see the Terabyte she’s operating on? Imagine you offending that kind of living memory card. You see the funny thing is that the time she’s exhibiting her anger might not even be the moment you angered her. She might just randomly remember how you snapped at her when she was trying to play with you and boom she instantly becomes moody. Then bros would come and see her unsmiling and would ask, “woz doing you”? She would answer “Nothing” bros would ask again like 5 times and her answer would be the same, then the bros gets tired and she conclusively decides that you are uncaring…. Sigh.

Then I woke up.

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